"borrowing"

I have this ex-roomate who "borrowed" money from me. (Actually, he ran up a $300 phone bill and said he'd pay it back. That was about 6 years ago. He still owes me $150.) I recently found out that his mother had passed away and that he got a rather sizeable life insurance award. I was kinda hoping that he might decide that this was the time to pay back the money. So far, I haven't seen a penny. In his case, that's annoying but OK. Him not being in my life is worth the loss of $150.

More frustrating by far would be if he were actually a friend of mine. Can you imagine if you had a friend who borrowed money from you, had the money to pay you back, but didn't??? That would be really awkward, especially if said friend ever wanted to borrow money from you again!

I usually try not to borrow large amounts from people. If they lend me a buck, I get it back to them as soon as I have it, usually the next day. Often times they say not to worry about it, but I try to pay it back anyway, just to make sure that I don't end up taking advantage of the person.

I've collected money before. I've asked people for donations to buy mutual friends plane tickets to Germany. I've also asked for donations to cover the cost of my rescued ferret's operation. However, this was never ever termed as borrowing. People who gave knew that there would be no financial return, just the warm fuzzy feeling of knowing you helped. It wasn't borrowing, though.

My neighbor James and I often lend money back and forth. It's usually a matter of "hey, do you have a $10 or $20 to put money on the laundry card?" or "oh, we're going to that store that only takes cash. Do you have any on you?" I'm more than happy to lend to James, because he always pays it back as soon as he makes it to an ATM, even if I tell him that he doesn't have to. It's a kind of trust thing.

Of course the greatest thing that happens with lent money is when the borrower remembers to pay you back, even after you yourself have forgotten about it. That's always good!

It's kinda weird how we use the term "borrow", at least in this part of the country. People say "can you borrow/lend me a sheet of paper?" In this case, it is possible that you will give the person a sheet of paper later to replace the one that you've "borrowed", but really, how often does that happen? There's almost never a 1:1 correspondence with these things. Worse of course, is when someone asks to borrow some Kleenex. No one expects a return of a "borrowed" Kleenex! (Used Kleenex=bad thing)

Rather than asking if someone will borrow me a sheet of paper (another fun thing...using "borrow" to express the "lending" side of the transaction - very common throughout language history, though), I ask if I can HAVE a sheet of paper. That signals that I don't intend giving it back, and that the person will have to ask me for a sheet of paper if that is the expectation. (Pleases and thank yous are of course still appropriate!)

I'm all for clarity of terms. If you don't plan to give it back, don't say you're borrowing it. If you asked to borrow something, then please, give it back!